Identity & Legacy
Nearly 40 and in a place I had no plans to be.
Statistically middle-aged and entering my 40th year, I’ve found myself here. Where’s here? No idea!
My first attempt at a blog that I intend to write weekly on nothing in particular to share my experiences, observations and opinions. Take from it what you will, and I hope you find some relevance to reflect on in your life. If not
For the first instalment, I reflect on where I’m at with a bent on legacy and self-reflection, so here goes…
This week, our family office closes, and the end of a chapter. 13 years ago, I started working with my dad (now 93) to grow the family property business founded in 1956. I expected this to be the book until middle age (today) and beyond. The book changed after a few chapters.
After over 13 years of the family business rollercoaster, this ride is over. Depending on the week, if you asked me, I’d either of said I loved it, or fucking hated it. Today, I land somewhere in the middle; however, I am grateful for the good and bad experiences. I am grateful also to Dad for the unique time we had together. Dad now has significant dementia and no longer remembers who I am, just that he trusts enough to help break him out of his aged care home. No luck so far.
In the last few years, I've questioned what someone else's legacy should or shouldn’t mean to those affected by that legacy. Or should they be affected at all? In this case, Dad’s legacy. Should his legacy define mine or anyone else? For a long time, I chose for it to define mine, and now I know it doesn’t and shouldn’t. We are all affected somehow, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, because our past shapes us, and we then determine our future despite our history. Not to say we should ignore our past, but acknowledge that what has come before has brought us to this point, warts and all. It sounds easy, but F me, it can be challenging for many, including myself, to make that shift.
In that vein, I have no choice but to break out of what has defined me for over half my adult life. Something that in the past I envisaged would be easier than how I find it today. What’s next is undefined, uncertain and slightly daunting. In the last few weeks, I’ve only started to reflect on my identity as what I did for a career rather than who I am and what that means. This may be my perception of what I did, but it could be completely different from those I know. I’m figuring this out along the way and what comes next.
This currently rudderless blog is part of that process.
A quote from Marcu Aurelius - “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
AV
